Wrenches and Honor
by Neo Diji
Summary: Automail gets damaged. Winry gets ticked. Scar gets defeated. ...And Roy gets a promotion? No pairings. Humor Genfic.


Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Warnings: No pairings. Genfic. Crack/humor fic. Maybe slight spoilers for episodes 15 and 17 of the 2003 anime.

A/N: This is not my best work, but the idea didn't stop nagging me. So I wrote it.

Originally uploaded 4/15/06.

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Wrenches and Honor

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Winry Rockbell hummed as she walked along the streets of Central while visiting the Elric brothers. Just last week, Edward had appeared out of nowhere on her doorstep, demanding to have his arm fixed on the spot. After many bouts of screaming and chucking lethal objects at his head, the automail mechanic had relented and gone to work to fix her damaged, precious craft.

Once the arm was in perfect condition, Winry had demanded, just as hotly as Ed was wont to, that she be allowed to have a follow-up visit. Because she wanted to see Central again, as it had many shops with advanced steel-prosthetics equipment that wasn't available back in Resembool, because she wanted to have a friendly visit with Ed and Al, and because she wanted to make sure the blond alchemist didn't ruin his steel limbs again. It wasn't that she didn't _trust_ him, but the mechanic had often found it…resourceful…to carry a wrench in her pocket when around certain egotistical alchemists.

On the train ride from the country town to the capital, Winry had badgered Edward as to how he had managed to wreck her best-ever-yet work. Finally, grudgingly, Ed admitted the existence of Scar and his own inability to defend himself. Just during that one instance.

"So, an infamous State Alchemist murderer cornered you and _blasted_ your arm— _my work_ —to smithereens!" she shrieked. "So you escaped with your life, but not your arm…oh, Edward Elric, you'll _wish_ you were dead by the time I'm through with you, you careless, bigheaded, _short_ idiot!"

And ignoring Ed's screamed protests of, " _WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER AND MORE NEGATIVE THAN AN ELECTRON?"_ and " _WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PUNY ALCHEMIST SO SMALL HE HAS TO LOOK UP TO A DAMN AUTOMAIL MECHANIC?"_ she sat back and enjoyed the rest of the ride

And now she was enjoying strolling the streets and spending all of Ed's money. He owed her, anyway.

"Aw, come on, Winry," Ed whined after a couple hours. "I'm not made of sens…can't you go use up someone _else's_ money for your stuff?"

"Nii-san, Winry is practically family. And you _did_ hurt your automail," Al pointed out.

Edward glared at both his companions. "Yeah, and I already paid her the _ridiculous_ charges!" he grumbled.

Before the squabble could continue, the clouds swept over the sun and a scarred man swept out of a nearby alleyway. Al gasped and backed up a few paces, tugging his older brother with him. "Winry!" the younger Elric warned. "He's dangerous!"

The blond mechanic stared at the Ishbalan.

Scar stared at Edward for a long moment. "Fullmetal," he growled, raising his right arm. "You escaped me last time, but your luck's run out. Your precious military's not here to save you, and your automail arm can be easily shattered again—"

And then he saw deathly rage fly at him in the form of a wrench, Winry Rockbell standing protectively in front of the Elric brothers with her own arm raised and blue eyes blazing.

*/*

Colonel Mustang arrived on the scene just as they were hauling away the unconscious form of the Alchemist Killer. His onyx eyes swept the crime scene, focusing on three teenagers in the center of the confusion. Blinking, his attention was distracted by policemen putting up yellow tape around a single square foot in front of the alleyway. Surrounding a wrench. _The_ wrench.

Fuhrer Bradley approached the mess, tilting his head as his one eye took everything in. A couple soldiers took turns whispering the story to him, the Fuhrer nodding every so often to show his understanding. When he'd heard enough, he bypassed the Rockbell girl who was directly responsible for such an amazing feat, and turned straight to the Colonel. "We need to reward _someone_ for apprehending Scar, so it might as well be you, _Brigadier General_ Mustang," the Fuhrer explained randomly, shrugging one shoulder. "The military can't offer anything to civilians, and the girl who took him down is friends with Fullmetal. Fullmetal isn't interested in promotions, but you are, and you're his commanding officer…so in some roundabout, unimportant way, you are responsible for the capture of this dangerous criminal."

Roy bit his tongue to keep from pointing out that the military _could_ offer things to civilians, such as large bags of sens. But he was getting a promotion out of this! So he stayed silent, stood straight, and saluted the Fuhrer. "I accept the new position with honor, Sir," he responded formally, acting like he deserved credit even though he didn't do a single thing to aid in the capture. His role in the case was nonexistent, but if it meant he'd be bumped up along the chain of military command…he could pretend he was responsible. Gladly.

And as the newly promoted officer found out mere hours later, the higher salary that came with the promotion meant he had no excuse to escape purchasing automail parts for a certain, honor-neglected, mechanic.


End file.
